pummel my head, quick!

i just sent messages to a girl today. she had a mighty fine blog. full of sad stories, and other sentimental stuff like that.

i've been thinkin'. what on earth could have happened to this lady? kind of made me wonder why she's fulla hate.

great. another sad story. it's almost as if the world is bitter in itself.

i've a sad story too. everybody does. anyone who'd be interested would need to possess epic amounts of time and patience.

it's a long story, you know. colorful, i guess. i've lived my life well. i have no regrets. it made me strong, somehow.

well.. almost. it's just that i don't seem to run out of bad luck, dammit. just when I thought i've already been forgiven.

maybe someone up there thinks that i don't deserve any good luck at all.

i'm cursed. but i know damn well i already paid for my sins dearly, and then some.

depression hits me whenever i get home and think about things. i try to convince myself that this'll be helped by a drink.

i open my fridge.
i down a few bottles.
then i whisper, the nights last so long in this place.
then i feel sort of okay.
another day in this crazy life.
maybe tomorrow, i'll feel better.
maybe tomorrow, i'll wake up and realize, this is just a bad dream.

i never seem to run out of nightmares.
the sandman seems to have his watchful eye fixated on me.
good thing, i'm getting used to it.

i'm still at the office. surfing the bejesus outta me. maybe i ought to go home. maybe i do need a drink.