a child's guide to monsters

ran into this article in the internet. it's kinda like a child's guide to under the bed and in the closet monsters. stuff like that.

it's all poetic and shit. it's for kids, fer chrissakes.

A Child's ABC Guide to Under-the-bed and Closet Monsters

Beware, beware the Allignight, Its teeth are sharp. Its eyes are bright.
If you don't want to end up dead, Be sure to check beneath your bed.

And if at night you hear a howl, The Banda's come to disembowel.
The empty little kids can't shout, When their insides have been torn out.

And screeching means a Calder's come. It does no good at all to run.
For it will drag you to its den And slowly tear off all your skin.

And if a Drylak comes don't cry, If it gets in, you will not die.
It has a huge and dripping nose, And hides its boogers in your clothes.

And if an Eerling's in the dark, Beneath the bed you'll hear it bark.
Then you will soon be filled with dread, When it crawls out to eat your head.

And if a Fazz shrieks in the night, It won't do any good to fight.
For they have long and wicked knives, And they take little children's lives.

And Gorlumphs crawl upon the floor, And slither underneath your door.
They'll try to creep beneath your sheet, Where they can dine upon your feet.

A Hargie is a bad surprise, With all its red and glowing eyes.
For it has tentacles and it, Does not like children, not one bit.

And if an Irlid's in your room, Or in your closet in the gloom,
Then you will likely scream and cry, For it will sting until you die.

One time I had a Jaganet. It made a really awful pet
For feeding it was quite a trick. The blood it drank would make you sick

A Korbel is a nasty beast. On children's brains it likes to feast.
Not only that, but when it's done, It nibbles out their eyes for fun.

A Lidag's really very small. Looks like it couldn't hurt at all.
But when you're sleeping it will start, To eat its way into your heart.

A Magan causes shrieks and wails, And rips off children's fingernails.
And when you think it's finally through, Then it rips off your toenails too.

Nurlugs are very awful things, With dirty fur and nasty wings.
They all wear really filthy clothes, And bite off fingers, ears and toes.

An Orlock's lurking in the blackness, 'Neath your bed. They carry axes!
Try not to snore; it gives them fits. They'll hack you into little bits.

And if a Purlit you should see, Then you're as doomed as doomed can be.
They cut out bones and take a few, And boil the things to make a stew.

And Quibbets like to howl and roar, And hide behind your closet door.
If it should open just a crack, They'll leap out and they'll claw your back.

And Raggatits are very sly. They like to steal and always lie.
They lurk in shadows on the floor, Their victims die of boils and sores.

One monster's called, I think, a Slike, But I don't know what it looks like.
The ones who've seen one can not say, For they all died long before day.

A Trollert has a thousand feet, And feasts on rotten stinking meat.
And if you ever smell its breath, Then you will gag and choke to death.

An Urvine has a pointed beak, And preys upon the young and weak.
It pecks a hole into their legs, Where it lays several thousand eggs.

A Vagun's long and poisoned spike, Is something you're sure not to like.
It runs the thing, with lots of pain, Up through your nose, into your brain.

A Wimbat's really mean and eats, Parts of the children that it meets.
It really likes to hear, you see, Its victims scream in agony.

And if you see a Xantha, run! For if you don't your life is done.
With razored claws they like to slay, Their cringing, screaming wailing prey.

A Yugurn's like a giant rat, But also it's part snake and cat.
If you're awake it breaks your bones, And listens to your screams and moans.

A Zitheril is big and black, With eighty spines upon its back
Those spines are poisoned, by the way, And it does things too bad to say.

Well, now it's time to go to bed, I hope that you don't end up dead.
Try to ignore the shrieks and screams. Have a good night and pleasant dreams.