cyber guy

retrieved this chat session from my corpmail. sent by my officemate. this little conversation kicked my ass off the chair, laughing.

apparently, some guy has been picking on women looking for fun in one of the many random chatrooms on the net. the guy is insane, but he's cool.

Bloodninja : wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja : what like gardening and shit?
MommyMelissa: yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja : nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja : you bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja : you water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja : are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables...can
you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja : i touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach...sexily.
Bloodninja : i ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: grain doesn't really turn me on...i was thinking more along the
lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja : my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja : damn baby you're right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja : my turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. my insides turn
to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? i'm outta here.
Bloodninja : yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over
your olives, and up in your eyes. now you can't see shit.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

hahahaha. damn. toldja this guy is a whacko.