cafe of broken dreams

way back when i was a child, i wanted to grow up immediately, real bad.

so i did.

i grew up so fast, i never realized i had it coming.

i went through the door that opened up to the real world, there, i realized, there never was, a neverland.

at first, i only got to see a small glint of reality. the light was in my eyes, it was too much for my innocent vision.

the horror of reality suddenly flashed before me, as i managed to open my eyes wide.

i saw everything all at once. the real world was not as beautiful as i'd imagined it would be.

and that it was full of deceit, and hate, and that i had no power over anything, and that i was a puppet on strings, and over the horizon, all i see are oceans of people struggling to get to the shore.

only to discover that there is no promised land.

there is no garden of eden.

there never was.

reality actually was, a mixed bag. i learned different things. good and bad. i learned how to hate. and lie. and manipulate others. i learned about false friendships, backstabbing, blackmail, greed, corruption, and crime. in learning all of these, i had subjected myself to the world and its codes. i despised what i had become.

i acquired an abysmal perspective in life.

and no matter how hard i try to buy my way back in to the gates of righteousness, i can't get in.

because life's revisions don't go retro.

and that i've been permanently labeled "impure".

the transgressions i've made, scarred me forever.

if i'd only had my way, i wouldn't have chosen to step outside the pearly gates.

my dream, of growing up one day, turned out to be my life-long nightmare.

blessed are the children.