transdimentional dementia

[absimilliard's adventures part five]

after studying the results of my previous experiments, and through intense research, i concluded that time travel alone, is a ridiculous undertaking. in order to generate the ideally canned situations in the movies, i must pair time travel with transdimensional travel.

now that's a more practical approach to this whole time-space thing.

alright, so now our scientists, having invented a means to travel through time, and learning from my ahem..postulations, decided to create a transdimensional err..travelling machine.

they figured, if they have conquered the speed of light, and having mastered the art of time travel, why not create the ultimate mode of transport?

transdimensional travel.

the shortest distance between two points is no longer a straight line. the shortest distance between two points, can be achieved by folding the fabric of space such that the two points are conjoined, and the subject can literally step from one dimension to another.

this transdimensional travelling machine also happens to solve our distance issues. like if we were travelling from earth to another star. we can literally rip open the fabric of space and time to obtain a pathway from this planet to another which could be millions of light years away.

remind me to try that some other time. but first, i have to deal with the transdimensional issues within this beloved planet.

if i wanted to see how i would fare in the future, i'd have to ride the ferrari time-machine again and traverse forward in time to ten years from now, and hitch a ride on a transdimensional ferrari, which will end up in me being in a place ten years from now, and in an alternate future.

ecstatic, i leap inside the time-machine. i fast forward to the future with a grin carved on my face.

i ran into mars again. the genius who happens to look and think exactly like me.

"dude, you haven't aged a day since you left to perform that time-travel experiment! what did you find out?", says mars.

"nothin' man. just more unanswered questions. i'm not here to do that though. i'm here for the transdimensional travel thing, y'know.", says me.

"oh, right. i heard about it. cool. awesome stuff, dude. well goodluck to ya, an' i hope you find what yer lookin' for.", says mars.

"yep. thanks. will do. i'll see you around man.", says me, leavin' an' hoppin' inside the transdimensional ferrari.

pushing on the button labeled "TDN (transdimensional nitro)", i saw time-space fold in front of my eyes.

it was a jaw dropping view. the transdimensional jump sensation was so overbearing, i felt tears roll down my cheeks.

"sob. i'm really doin' it."

first thing i did was look for myself, of course, in this alternate future. when i saw this other version of me, he was startled. he did not expect to see himself. turns out, in this alternate future, they have no time-travel, or transdimensional travel. they don't even have space travel.

hmm. this place is reality. i better get out of here.

i landed on one dimension wherein i was never born.
i landed on one wherein i couldn't speak english. just spanish.
i landed on one wherein i was a total dumbass.
i landed on one wherein i was still genius, without the sarcasm.
i landed on one wherein i was stuck in a time loop.
i landed on one wherein i am writing on this blog.
i landed on one wherein i just finished writing on this blog.
i landed on one wherein i was dead.
i landed in lotsa other dimensions. everytime, experiencing the same tearful sensation of transdimensional jumpin'.
and each time, telling me a different story.

it got me thinking. this is pointless. there's an infinite number of alternate realities, each of them telling me that this could have happened if i made such a choice, blablabla, it goes on an' on.

it was just like watching tv an' switching channels. only, i can totally experience everything an' i have multitudes of channels. hmm..an immersive way to watch tv! neat but, it gets old.

i found myself going back to my original dimension and heading straight back to my original timeline.

transdimensional travel isn't as much fun as it promises to be. it takes an infinite number of lifetimes to fully explore all possibilities of alternate futures and realities.

none of them with answers to my questions.